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October 12, 2007

Now That, I Do Like…

Filed under: music, reviews, authors, Topics, Dr T. — drt @ 6:28 am

Once again Phoenix Phil has selected some cuts for me to cast my withering eye of musical authoritarianism over. Another poor selection, which does little to make me homesick for old Blighty.

Maximo Park - Girls Who Play Guitar
Instant minus points for sloppy grammar. And the singer’s wearing a hat. A hat. It’s the sort of thing that makes me want to side with James Spader and bully Duckie.
If you had played this song to me 10 years ago, I would have told you that “This ‘A’ album is on the wrong speed.”

Judging by the singing, Maximo Park are from up North, perhaps they’re geordies. Unfortunately so are The Wildhearts, a band who sh!t all over Maximo Park from such a great height, their Wildheart poos become little meteorites on their way down.

The video is your bog standard band live miming with the fan club invited in for the crowd shots. Ho hum. Almost makes me pine for Feeder.

Athlete - Hurricane
You see, the problem with Athlete’s career path is that they’ve just skipped to the ‘Sold Out Coldplay nonsense’ part, missing out on the traditional arc of Angry Beginnings, Just Signed Optimism, Grand Designs, Disillusionment, and Debt.

Musically redundant and creatively dead. What’s wrong with people these days, and their attitude of “sod it, this’ll have to do, hope we can get an advert contract.”

I gave you a fair hearing Athlete, and I find you guilty of musical negligence. Your punishment is to listen to the song ‘The Hive’ by Jimmy Webb (sung by Richard Harris) over and over and over and over until you are driven to the brink of madness.

And your video was crap too. Lots of little building blocks being animated and doing not a lot. Build me a wall dammit, I feel one of my turns coming on…

Babyshambles - Delivery
Weren’t The Libertines fun? At least they didn’t skip straight to ripping off Coldplay. And kudos must be given to Pete ‘Needles’ Doherty for ripping off ‘On A Rope’ by Rocket From The Crypt, in his song ‘Delivery’.

Of course he gets minus points for wearing a hat in the video. And for being in the video too much. Delivery, misery… At least it’s well timed for those postal strikes.

Unfortunately the song is about the song being delivery straight to his lover’s heart (is he still going out with Kate Moss? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t care). Yes, it’s a ‘meta song’ a song about a song. I suppose if he were to write her a poem it would go:

This is a poem about
The poem I’m sending out
That you are reading
Words I am writing
This poem right now
I just don’t know how
Being a proper cockernee
Show me to the skag please.

I am so unimpressed with this song, only a youtube search for the ‘Pain For Pleasure’ bit of ‘Fat Lip’ by Sum 41 can brighten my day.
Aah that was a lot of fun.

Anyway, now I DO LIKE…
Girls Aloud - Sexy! No No No
Or more correctly: Sexy! yes. Yes. YES! Except they’re looking a bit gothy in this video, which is a bit of a turn off frankly. Nice PVC catsuits though.

Actually the song isn’t as good as some of their earlier stuff, but being a man of principles, I must teach these lazy indie boys a lesson and recommend some corporate pop over their shallow outpourings. People’s standards are so low these days, and real musical appreciation has reached such a nadir, it’s only fitting that a gaggle of lovely girls can hold my attention for longer than the tepid whining of these unimaginative pricks with guitars.

In the Girls Aloud video, the concept appears to be that they are in a pin cushion. Girls Aloud are pin cushions if you will. Now that’s a new euphemism to my tired ears…

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